WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Men are judged if they show emotion at all and women are categorized when they show too much - punks and crazies especially when it comes to crying.
- 85% of women and 73% of men felt less sad and angry after crying
- On average, women cry 47 times a year, men cry 7 times a year
The statistics don't make sense. Crying makes us feel better but we refrain from doing it.
Happiness comforts us, anger turns us on, but sadness... we don't quite know what to do with that. We don't know what to say, we don't know how to console so we steer clear of it. Crying isn't viewed as a standard coping mechanism so when someone does it something has to be seriously wrong. Crying is healthy and should happen often but if it does as a result of anything other than catastrophe people are burdened with the stigma of being called unstable. Some children, namely boys, are robbed of the freedom to express themselves but as we grow into adults tears are viewed as weakness for everyone. As this is being written during Domestic Violence Awareness Month, we have to explore the ways in which people compensate for not being able to handle their emotions healthily. What do you do instead of crying? Do you lash out at people? Spend money that you don't really have? Drown in a bottle? Get lost in a person? Take a hit of something that makes you numb? Every answer is the wrong answer because not crying is not healthy.
Emotion is about balance, acknowledging it, expressing it and understanding it. I'm not saying displace your feeling onto everyone willing to listen or internalize it to the point of sickness but let it out whenever you see fit. Crying is not specific to any one emotion be it happiness or sadness. So, when was the last time you cried? Cried because you felt like it, not because anything was wrong. Or maybe something is wrong, when was the last time you let it out? When was the last time you gave yourself the right to be human? Cry how you want: in the shower masked by running water or full out Kim Kardashian ugly cry. It doesn't matter, just do it and in giving yourself the freedom to feel encourage others to do the same.
sn: I don't care for Iyanla, but that's beside the point, the quotation is deep. Carry on.