5 Fictional Characters We Wish Were Real
1. Cliff Huxtable over Bill Cosby
This number one pick is pretty straight forward. Heathcliff Huxtable was written as a fun-loving but fair father and attentive husband. He was also successful in his academic and professional pursuits. Meanwhile, William H. Cosby, M.Ed. has not earned a single degree via coursework, yet he continues to shame students while failing to mention that he never finished High School or college. The very aspect of his life that could and should encourage someone is one of his best kept secrets. The other secret is that he is (allegedly) a sexual predator with allegations ranging from rape to assault coming from an estimated 50 women. Two words: F*ck Bill.
2. Olivia Kendall over Raven-Symone
*The deepest sigh* Raven, the raceless human that loves humans, can go. See, we met Olivia as the sassy and curious toddler that could hold a conversation with adults ten times her age... all the makings of a woke individual. Yet, in real life we got a confused art student that switches her perspective as much as she does her hair color and still can't get it right. She goes out of her way to defend racism and prejudice which is unforgivable. We would formally disown her but apparently she doesn't belong to us so whichever groups she associates with, please come collect your belongings. Thanks. Oh, and your real eyebrows look a mess.
3. Dionne Davenport over Stacy Dash
Dionne Davenport was the first Black best friend who wasn't a token, I mean, half of the time she wasn't here for Cher's shit. Fast forward 20 years and the former baddie is aging like milk and is a sellout for sale. She's perched at Fox News getting paid to be a dumb-ass alongside a slew of non-journalists pretending to have educated opinions. Dionne may have grown up to be a Republican for tax reasons but the silver lining is she'd already be paid so tap dancing for a dollar would be out of the question but we can't say the same about Stacy, unfortunately.
4. Harrison Wright over Columbus Short
Columbus Short wouldn't have made the list a few years ago but his personal life has earned him an eternal side-eye. With a growing rap sheet I'm sure Columbus Short wishes Olivia Pope was real to save his career and his image. Harrison knew a good opportunity when he saw it and if he was going to risk it all it'd be to save his situation not ruin it. But, since Short has pending domestic violence charges against his, now, ex-wife I have no sympathy for his once bright career making it's last swirl around the toilet bowl. The final straw was when he released a single entitled "Gladiator" they day of Scandal's season four premiere. Really homie?
5. Calvin Cambridge over Bow Wow
Calvin Cambridge was humble, talented, and level-headed. Bow Wow is arrogant, hasn't had a hit in a decade, and thinks pedestal is spelled pedal stool. Bow Weezy went from being our childhood crush to a pint-sized pest. Nothing is worse than being loud and wrong and more often than not, he is both. I threw my hands up when he made an appearance on a fellow cornball's show Wild'N'Out and proceeded to kiss and tell on two women that had long moved past the mistake of dating him. And then there was this one time when he got into a beef with Soulja Boy and that's when he made it clear that he didn't respect himself. Welp, have fun interviewing celebrities on the very red carpets you just knew you would be walking.